Descriptive writing coursework

The park is an uplifting and happy place which attracts many children from the surrounding area. It is mainly made up of estates and expensive flats, with the park in between, next to a road which seems to divide the areas as if it symbolizes the gap in wealth. The park is used by both rich and poor as the children who play together there are not aware of the differences between them. In a sense, the park unifies the community. This is shown by the drawings of children playing hide and seek in a mass of bright colours, the gatherings that happen yearly for the estates and the community which fills the block with smells of meats cooked in different ways. As well as this, there is the cheers of laughter from children and the harsh words of parents when their child goes too far. When they speak to people they are told not to, such as the homeless, which some of the events are held for especially. There is also a split in the park with the equipment for younger children to the left and the larger equipment such as the tire swing to the right of the park. However, many of the older kids use the smaller equipment for entertainment between them and their friends leading to much of the equipment being broken as a result of this.

During the after school times in the afternoon the park is usually filled with parents, they let their children play there to let them run off the bothers of school, to get their kids out of their hair for a while and to let them play with their friends while they watch from the windows of their flats with an attentive eye as a ball rolls out onto the road. Most come down for their child as the sun sets. Now the park takes a very different tone from a place that has given fond memories, to all that have grown up in the area and where people feel welcome. Suddenly it has changed to a place where parents would go to no end to keep their child away.

At night the park transforms to a shady place where the bright colours of the walls are covered by a black veil and the whites of tombstones from the past graveyard at the spot which are usually out of sight at day are now rising from the earth that they were buried into. Laughter turns to hushed whispering between shady individuals who occasionally sneak into the area at night to hide their actions. The only evidence left at day are the needles kicked into the bushes for any child to find. The park is also used by the homeless who can be found in the early stages of morning covered up on a bench, or by the police who frequently patrol the area but are always at the wrong place at the wrong time to catch anyone, to the annoyance of many residents who fear for the safety of their children and themselves.

The park itself is first noticed through the climbing frame which towers over any other equipment in the park, meeting the trees high up from the ground. This rewards the children who climb it with a view of the surrounding area which changes every season from a mixture of the shades of green and the extended times of play in summer, to the flood of oranges and browns that rain down on the park every autumn, leaving the skeletons of the trees which hang over the park in the background fitting in well with the tombstones. Until they burst back into life along with the surrounding area returning to its normal shades of green.

Throughout its life the park has raised everyone who was brought up in the community and has acted as a bridge for divisions between people, and has given many in the area fond memories of their childhood and will continue to do so for the next generation.

 

 


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2 responses to “Descriptive writing coursework”

  1. jobrien Avatar
    jobrien

    Hi Harry,

    I enjoyed reading this. It has a nice style to it.

    To improve, please do the following things:

    1) Please check all spelling and punctuation throughout. It is inaccurate in some parts.

    2) There is some great description at the end of paragraph one and the start of paragraph three. Please try and add some more of this without making the piece too cluttered overall.

    At the moment, this sits at 30/40 (C1)

    Mr O’B

  2. jobrien Avatar
    jobrien

    Hi Harry,

    This still sits at the current grade as you have not added enough description as suggested. Please do this before Monday, 6PM!

React!